It is getting easier and easier to not eat. I went for Thanksgiving with Lion yesterday and I finally saw the baby! She has gotten so big. I missed her. I gave her toys and I got to baby sit her while Lion went for groceries. Lion noticed the weight loss. He notices every time I gain or loose. He knows me too well. I ate normally in front of him and I told him I was cutting out carbs and fats and thats how I lost all the weight. I still need to be skinnier. I hate my fat legs... my fat arms... I can't see my ribs and it's driving me crazy. I am doing so well ... just not well enough.

I can't stop thinking about Junsei. The more I get to know him the more perfect he seems to me. I'm scared shitless. I haven't liked anyone this much ever. Trying to take it slow and easy. We sort of talked about it and realized we were both afraid of taking it too fast. He said he was scared of hurting me... which didn't make me feel much better about it. Normally if someone says something like that to me I'll back right off. But there is something about him. He just feels so familiar. I think I had a dream about him...