It's thinspo Thursday! I've had a bit of a rough week (what else is new... eh?) but Thursday is all about pushing through! So if you've had a rough week too... put it behind you and start fresh again! And if you're doing good I'm proud of you... keep pushing! Thin is within your reach! ♥

Keep your hair healthy and strong!

It's a common problem... hair loss. A good place to start in repairing your hair, and preventing loss, is watching your vitamin intake! You must always be conscious of your vitamin intake when restricting to avoid serious health problems. Taking vitamin supplements is not always enough since your body is more receptive to vitamins coming from a natural source. If you take vitamin supplements in combination with the right foods you will benefit from the supplement much better than without! Here are some key vitamins for hair health and complimenting low-cal foods!

Vitamin A - Helps produce healthy sebum in the scalp. You can find vitamin A in eggs, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, apricots and peaches. You should try to get at least 5,000 IU a day... but remember; too much vitamin A can actually cause hair loss! Keep your dose well under 25,000 IU a day.

Vitamin C - Not only good for your hair, but also great for your skin! In my opinion, you can never get enough vitamin C. Remember not to take chewable supplements, because they will erode the enamel on your teeth! You can find vitamin C in plenty of foods, especially broccoli, tomato, papaya, mango, red, green and yellow peppers, and kiwis. Try to get at least 60mg in a day, but many doctors advise as much as 1000mg a day to help support a healthy immune system. Never go over 2000mg, or else you will have some skin discolouration. I did this once and wound up with yellow eyes! Not sexy.

Vitamin E - Enhances scalp circulation and can be found in leafy green vegetables. Eat up your salads! Take up to 400IU a day, and if you have high blood pressure you should research more into your vitamin E intake, and discuss with your doctor, as too much can cause problems.

Biotin and Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid) - Specifically helps reduce and prevent hair loss! Unfortunately these vitamins are usually found in more high-cal foods such as whole grains and meats, but I recommend trying egg yolks. Get 150-300mg biotin and 4-7mg B5 in a day.

Inositol - Helps keep your hair follicles healthy on a cellular level. This can be found in any citrus fruit, like oranges, lemons, grapefruits and tangerines. You can have up to 600mg a day.

Vitamin B6 - Also specifically prevents hair loss and produces melanin to help keep your colour vibrant. It can be found in egg yolk, as well as many fruits and vegetables such as bananas, kiwi, limes, plums, avocado, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, corn, leeks, mushrooms, onions, spinach and zucchini. Get a daily dose of 1.6mg, but watch your intake! Too much vitamin B6 can cause numbness of hands and feet.

Vitamin B12 - Also prevents hair loss! This one is a toughy, but very important for overall health! I struggled with a b12 deficiency for a very long time and it caused me very serious health problems. Take your supplements, and whenever you can bite the bullet and find a natural source of b12. It can only be found in animal based products, or soy products. I recommend chicken or fish, egg yolks, or soy milk. 

I know all this vitamin jargon can be a lot to take in at once, especially if your not well versed in nutrition. So to help make your first steps a little easier, I've included a recipe that meets all your hair-health needs!

Citrus Broccoli Salad!  (120cal)

*Remember, you can change up any of the vegetables in this recipe. I chose broccoli because it covers a lot of your necessary vitamins!

1 egg, boiled and cooled.

1/2 cup of fresh broccoli flourettes

1/2 fresh garlic clove

1 slice of fresh lemon

1 cup mixed greens

pinch of salt and pepper for taste

Place rinsed broccoli in a steam basket and steam in pot with 1 inch of water for three minutes. (Raw or boiled broccoli will do if you do not have a steamer.) Remove from heat immediately to avoid over-cooking, and place in a serving bowl to cool. In a separate bowl mix juice from lemon slice, garlic, salt and pepper, then pour over cooled broccoli. Slice boiled egg in half, and place on mixed greens along with broccoli. Eat and enjoy!

Fashion Thinspo: Eniko Mihalik for Bergdorf Goodman Resort

I have been spending a lot of time looking up work-outs online. I love to mix it up and try new things to keep it interesting for myself. I have discovered the long arm crunch... and fallen in love with it! Same as regular crunches, except you keep your arms straight above your head! Try it out. It's amazing.

I have been working extra hard on my legs lately... and it is paying off. I can see the fat melting off and they are toning up nicely! Every morning I get up and do 100 jumping jacks and then my yoga routine, focusing on my legs legs legs. I hate how fat they are. My upper half is so much smaller than my lower half and I feel like a dwarf. I want to be pretty and thin up and down. So it is nice to see some progress.

I am super poor and so is Dove... so our fridge is next to empty! Yay! The rest of this month it should be pretty easy to starve myself. Dreading December. Dreading Christmas...

I threw out my last pack of cigarettes with three smokes still left in it. Then today I remembered why I smoke and bought another pack while I was starving. Something feels so right about filling my empty stomach with a diet Pepsi, a cigarette, and a piece of gum after it all to rid of the flavours. Yesterday I did good. I was strong and I kept my intake low!

Yesterday's Eats

1 Cup of coffee 50cal
Bowl of Oatmeal with 1tsp Maple Syrup 130cal
2 Granny Smith Apples 160cal
1 Fruit Bar 130cal
1/2 All Bran Cookie with 1tsp Peanut Butter 115cal

Total 585

A little higher than I would like... but considering my bad binging habits lately I'm happy to be under 600.

I don't even want to discuss what happened last night. I drank water and more water until around 7 and then I made myself some chicken soup broth with vegetables (70cal) to help tide me over for the evening. Then I ate a cracker with the soup. Bad idea. Carbs are a major binge inhibitor. I musn't eat carbs. As a result of that one dirty cracker I wound up stuffing my face with a piece of bread and peanut butter at the awful hour of 9:30. I swear I'm never going to loose weight... my moral is far too weak.

I declare Thursday to be Thinspo Thursday! I have been thinking about this for a while too. It all started with America's Next Top Model... which of course is on today. I have always loved that show obsessively. So I think I want to expand on this idea and push it out further than just watching skinny girls on my TV. So for all you who follow me I will make Thursdays on my blog a little more fun than usual! This should help keep me motivated and thinking skinny thoughts as well! Let's start with a recipe

Orange Baked Apple (70cal)

1 small apple, cored
1 tbsp Smucker's Orange Marmalade with Splenda
A pinch of ground cinnamon
A pinch of ground nutmeg

Place apple in a shallow un-greased baking pan; add a small amount of water to pan. Fill center of apple with marmalade; sprinkle with cinnamon and nutmeg. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes until apple is tender. Great for a warm breakfast on a cold fall day! Remember to eat your fruit in the morning on an empty stomach! This will help with the detox process and help in weight loss.

Tips to Running the Right Way
 
1. Align your head and neck properly. Focus on the horizon, moving your head back and forth occasionally to keep your neck from getting stiff. Avoid staring at your feet or at the ground.

2. Keep your shoulders relaxed, level and low as you run. If you feel tension in your shoulders, or if you've been raising and tensing them, drop them and shake your arms out to relieve the tension.


3. Move your arms from front to back, not across your chest. Don't clench your hands. Occasionally relax your arms, which should be bent at the elbows.

4. Stand tall as you run, keeping your core engaged and maintaining good posture in your back. Avoid slouching or allowing yourself to weaken in the torso.

5. Strike the pavement between your heel and the middle of your foot first, rather than with your toes or heels. Roll forward onto your toes, and push off with effort. Keep your stride steady. Don't bounce as you run.

Fashion Thinspo: Caroline Trentini for Elle Brazil

If I eat anything, I'll eat everything, so I eat nothing.

So the fast went great yesterday... until 6pm when my friend Duckie came over and reminded me that I promised to make her dinner which I totally blanked out on. So I cooked up a shrimp pasta with white sauce... which was unfortunately delicious. I hate that I'm good at cooking. I hate that I love it. After that it went down hill. A ton of friends came over for movie night and Dove baked up her famous cookies and I got stoned and ate way more than I'd like to admit to. So... new rule. NO MORE WEED EVER FOR ME. It is my enemy.

I just finished filling my fridge with bottled water for the day and I just ate a hot dog (265cal) to help down my medicine. No more food for the rest of the day. I should be okay... I will try to get in some exercise in if I'm feeling better in a few hours. I've been off my meds for a couple of days and that means I'm weak and exhausted so my work outs have been falling to the way side.

My friend Puppy is going on an "extreme" weight loss diet and asked me for help to make recipes for her. I'm hoping I will be able to find some inspiration for my own diet. It's good to have someone to talk about dieting with too. I have so many friends that just blow it off with a laugh and state how they eat whatever they like and refuse to feel guilt for it. I remember feeling that way. That's how I ended up with a 40 inch ass. Anyways... I will post up the best recipes I come up with. ♥

My thinspo wall... almost done :)

 

So it occurs to me I haven't reported a loss in a very long time. I am feeling pretty miserable about that.  Time to up my game... stop fucking around making excuses because I am depressed. Today I fast. FAST FAST FAST.

I'm not entirely sure where my head has been these days. I feel like I have been having a mental melt down every day for the last week or so. I can't come back. I can't grab control. Art seems to be the only thing I'm interested in. Art and self-loathing. Oh Van Gogh, how I feel you.

My weight is ok. No loss. No gain. Was eating badly for a while but I made up with it with exercise. Dove was telling me I needed to stop pushing myself so hard. There was one day where I exercised the entire day ... shifting between cardio and yoga. I think I worried her. I have been trying to open up to her a lot more though these days... she thought I was mad at her because of how reclusive I had become. I just hate everything.

This post is very all over the place. My thoughts are too. I can't make any sense of things. Doesn't help that I am not on my medicine these days... but I should be able to get more today and that will help me sleep better. Last night was just one nightmare after another. I had a dream I starved myself to the bone (I wish...) and my veins were blue and huge and everyone was worried about me and telling me that I wasn't pretty and I just looked sick.

One major major problem on my mind lately has been my mother. I always have had a difficult relationship with her. She is not... very mothering. I guess. I love her, I think. But I know I hate her. We never fight. We get along well enough... but I hate her so much. Things she says and does... and all the things in our past that are so ugly and have warped me into the person I am. Specifically... something she told me last night. I couldn't get it out of my head. I couldn't stop hating her for saying it... for even thinking it. She told me that when I was five years old she had become so depressed with her marriage that she was contemplating murdering me and committing suicide. She apologized after ranting on about it and then I told her it was okay. What is wrong with me? I never yell at her. I never tell her things aren't ok. I want to just tell her how much I hate her and not feel guilty for it. My relationship with her is very complex...

Anyways. Trying to keep my head up. Trying to get down under 130lbs. Doing much better with the eats these last couple of days... I have also stopped smoking weed which has been a huge help. When I'm depressed and smoke weed I don't care if I'm fat. I want to get fat. I hate it. It's disgusting how much I can eat when I'm stoned... especially sugar. I don't even crave sugar sober. Fuck.

I'm out. Good luck all you girlies on your mission to skinny!